WISDOM, THE FOG, AND YOUR DINING ROOM TABLE
A while back I bought a new dining room table and the experience started me thinking….
Anyone with sufficient money can buy a dining room table. Similarly, anyone can put food on it. But it takes wisdom to turn off the TV, sit around that table, and really listen to your family with the attention and curiosity you'd give to a guest. Or it takes wisdom to have friends over for dinner—instead of staying in a rut and saying "We should have Dave and Nicole over for dinner", but you never do it, and then they move away and your list of friends get smaller and back you head to the TV and the dead, dead nights.
Or it takes wisdom around that table not to drink too much or drink too little…..
And it takes wisdom not to eat too much or too little.
What is wisdom? I think "light for the fog" is a fine definition of wisdom.
It's so easy to be in a fog. As you can see from the image of the dining room table, we can sit around it in a complete fog—ignoring one another, teasing one another, yelling at one another—all the while we can be gaining weight, alienating our loved ones, getting hooked on martinis and wine, and not even really notice any of this is happening. And we wake up five years later, divorced, 26 lbs overweight and really itching for a drink.
And this is stuff you would think was easy to notice. But it is only easy when it isn't happening to you.
Our eyes look out at the world—they don't point at ourselves. So, we are all blind, in one way or another. We are, most of all, blind to ourselves. That is why it is so easy to be in a fog.
And a fog has a life of its own. It comes with its own seductive spell and cloudy illusions. Nothing that hurts us announces itself as hurt.
Overwork doesn't shake your hand and say "Hi, I'm here to give you a heart attack". Arrogance doesn't put its cold hand on your shoulder and say "By the way, your so-called invincibility is going to cost you your business".
So what protects us from the fog? The question is worth a full length book…but we need quicker help than that. So here goes a brief answer:
Pain protects us from the fog
Candid, loving advice from others protects us from the fog
The small voice inside us protects us from the fog.
Other people's experience protects us from the fog.
Only if we have the wisdom to listen to the pain, listen to the advice, listen to the small voice, and to other people's experience.
Only if we have the wisdom to act on the warnings from pain, and from ourselves and others.
So, by now, you should be getting the idea that this website is meant to be a voice of wisdom, a light in the fog, a tap on the shoulder……
Let me introduce myself. My name is Bob Beverley and I am a full-time psychotherapist who is sick of all the self-help talk, religious jargon, academic theorizing and new age viewpoints that show no respect for real people and how hard their lives might be.
Therefore, I'm also the guy who built this website so that:
- you would feel understood
- victims would not be blamed
- real workable advice can be found
In this website, I am offering you the best medicine I've ever found. There are no side effects to this medicine, except peace and tranquility. It is a direct, concise, understandable pathway to success. This medicine is wisdom—the under-rated necessity for your life and the guardian of your success.
With an emphasis on wisdom, I want to help you reach your dreams and avoid the foolish pitfalls of life.
Except there is a twist…..
I know that dreams are hard to reach and the pitfalls of life are easy to fall into. And that is why we need all the love and guidance and wisdom we can muster.
You won't catch me telling you things like "just do it" and "just let it go" and "don't take it personally" because I know that we are all chained by fear, habit, fatigue, character flaws, circumstance, genetics, money, and what I call our "oil wells" of deep pain.
You won't catch me telling you with screaming headlines that I have found the easy, instant, immediate answer to all your problems.
I've been a psychotherapist for over 20 years. I work knee deep in the trenches of despair, violence, confusion, hopelessness and the human struggle for growth and well-being. The wisdom offered here has been road-tested in the emotional emergency ward I have always worked in.
What I have to say is not a stage show. My audience comes back next week.
And so as I think of you reading this, I wonder if you are in any kind of a fog? There are so many different kinds of fogs that we can be in—and not even know it.
Maybe you feel in a rush because there are so many websites to surf…
Maybe you are in the fog of tiredness…
Maybe you feel overwhelmed…
Maybe you feel like there's no time to fix anything in your life.
Wisdom is the light inside us and outside us that helps us get out of the fog. For example, many people compare their pain with larger pain and then dismiss their pain. That's a mistake. All pain is real. Every section of fog slows us down. A sprained ankle has to be dealt with as does a heart attack. Hear some light to dispel this fog of comparison:
Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size.
- Mark Twain
This great quotation reminds us that wisdom is accumulated by a chorus of voices. And that's exactly what you'll find on this website— a chorus of voices meant to be a voice of wisdom, a light in the fog, a tap on the shoulder. Like you, I have been shaped by a vast array of people (relatives, friends, ministers, therapists, colleagues, clients and gurus), movies, books, CD's and the joyful and painful experiences of life. Though I do not think that the way is easy that leads to life, I do absolutely know that there is a chorus of wisdom that does offer us a direct, concise, understandable pathway to success.
Peace and respect,
P.S. I can't emphasize enough how much I hope the Ebooks, The Core, The Dig, my two published books, and everything written herein helps you find wisdom for your life. Nor can I emphasize enough how much I desire your feedback. I'd love to hear how this website helped you. Feel free to give me some wisdom of your own, ask a question or two or three, share a testimonial, or offer some constructive criticism. I'm waiting for your email to Bob@FindWisdomNow.com